Popular Anxieties & A Life Worth Living

by Teen Brigade

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released July 30, 2015

Cover art and individual track art by Braintwins



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Track Name: A Life Worth Living
I’ve given up my heart / Such a stupid thing to say / But you make me fall apart / In the best of ways

I’m tired of pretending I love myself / I’m wired for suspending disbelief in myself
I’m hired for a job with no ending / I have to ask, “Is this a life worth living?”

I’d never call this art / Pride gets in the way / But I want to feel like I’m a part / Of something I can’t change
Track Name: Tupperware Shape O Ball
Gave a 10-month old (a shape o ball) / She watched it roll (she couldn’t crawl) / Fit a square into a square / and tugged her mom’s hair / Gave an awful cry when the cat skittered by / While she took a nap, I molded a new shape / One that would never fit / I knew it would never fit / She woke up to food and noise / Then down on the floor she played with her toys / She screamed and she shit / Because the shape wouldn’t fit / Did it haunt her when she closed her eyes? /When she was 10 she saw it again / In a box of toys to give away / She tried once again to no success / And she ran for her scissors in her Sunday dress / She cut the corners until it was ball / It slid in through but that wasn’t all / It fell out somewhere in the backyard that day / And she threw that shape o ball away
Track Name: Essentially
We are essentially who we are since the day we’re born / So propitiously we trail the warm soil / In a better view of conversations from afar / Foreign enemies look like moving stars / Oh well, oh well / Oh well, oh well / We all essentially know where we’re going when we die / And if we’re wrong we know exactly why / All the compounds are molecules / But not all molecules are not confounded / Oh well, oh well / Oh well, oh well / We are essentially neither good nor bad / We’re just molds of the experiences we have had / But there’s a guide of some trajectory / With azimuths we believe but can never see / Oh well, oh well / Oh well, oh well
Track Name: Pond Song
Those field recordings I haven’t made yet / of ponds that I haven’t been to in a long time / In a long time / Those feelings I haven’t quite felt yet / They will come and spill over me for a long time / For a long time / ewwwww….I want an Icelandic sweater / And soon I will get mine / Even though it’s alpine / There’s always hope / Because my mind’s a volcano / Going to skip your wedding and I’m sorry / for the loss and hurt of all our old time/ All our old times / Maybe I’ll snake in the grass this year / And I’ll hope for it for a while / Only for a while / ewwwww….I want to feel better / And soon I will feel fine / Even though it’s a just pond / There’s always hope / Because my mind’s a volcano
Track Name: Fourteen
When I was fourteen I had a fish I wish I remembered him / What was his name? / What was his name? / What was his name? / When I was young at church I learned of a god who loved me / What was his name? / What was his name? / What was his name? / When I was fourteen I had a hamster I don’t remember her / What was her name? / What was her name? / What was her name? / I want to be alone right now / There’s nowhere safe at all / When I was three I picked a grapefruit from a tree / Where are its seeds? Where are its seeds? / Where are it seeds / And I longed for the great wide open /And swung in between / Some pitiful background stereotype / But I was white and I was young / And you were right but you were dumb / And oversight in an easy thing to see / When I was fourteen / When I was 29 I still felt so far behind / I couldn’t remember being fourteen / What was my name?
Track Name: A Prayer to Jesus
I was so afraid nightmares / Nothing felt more real to me / In my bed my eyes stayed open / I never wanted to fall asleep / But my mom and dad were right there / I trusted them so much / Even if some nights were nightmares / I had someone who loved me much / And so I’d pray / The same prayer every night / And so I’d say with my eyes closed tight, / “I love you, Jesus. / Thank you for everything / Please forgive me for all my sins and wrong-doing / I wish for no more bad dreams / Thank you…amen” / Somewhere someday I stopped praying to Jesus / And I started enjoying all my dreams / I can’t say I really believe in heaven / And I don’t know why anyone should care / But every night sometime after 11 / I embrace my nightmares
Track Name: Swampland in Florida
Walt Disney World isn’t far from here / From the laughter of adults and children / From tears of a bruised knee / There is hope for reconcilement / The burial plot a mile from the KFC / Where a man got shot in the throat last week / There’s some ashes in seedy bar / Rising smoke to screen of NASCAR / Well, if you believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you / If you believe that, I’ve got a bridge / Postcards lacking their proper stamps / Carnivals hidden in the backwoods land / The jeers of gulls from the sea / There is hope for an understanding / A mother was raped in a Miami park / And her sister won’t speak to her after dark / There’s a mantle with a human heart / At the home of a rich man who sells expensive cars / Well, if you believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you / If you believe that, I’ve got a bridge / Putt-putt courses and go cart tracks / Are a way to set your wallet back / Caves of fear live deep in me / There is hope for none of us
Track Name: Staring at a Wall
Oh, brother of Jacklyn, a jack o’ lantern smashed on your lawn / Where are the new bitter has-been? / And are you ready to be a mom? / Cool clouds still happen sometimes / Slow hours are idle and a test / But you can move on / And I could stare a wall / There’s nothing wrong with this / There’s nothing wrong with us / Momentum is gaining / On us like wild boars / I wrote in a panorama app / A title that was not what it was for / All the colors / On my ankles / Oh my god, theirs is no liberty / You can run away / And I could stare at a wall / There’s nothing wrong with this / There’s nothing wrong with us / I want to stay in a moment far away / I want to hold words longer than a song / And I’m collecting rings in a cube / I’m right where you are in the dark, I swear / You cannot cry / I’m never afraid to cry / You can be silent / And I could stare at a wall
Track Name: Honestly I Lied
Trying to rush this without a blame / No weight on my shoulders / Nothing to lose, nothing to gain / The winter woods are kind of over / I watch the cement pick up the rain / Some lights our lives are never bolder / They burn out / They never fear a flame / Cold like stainless steel scissors / Resting on a stainless steel plate / I wish others could see the manmade river / While I’m lying here today / Oh, let them try / Let them feel something intelligent / There’s a byline on a courier type / You’ll read about when he’s gone / La da da / Oh, la da da / I honestly didn’t cry
Track Name: Outside the Bank